[a lot of guts, huh. most days, that seemed to be all he had. guts, waiting to spill. messy, bloody, vital, and all too easy to pluck out.]
[a sniff, the back of his hand swiped fast under his nose. he doesn't break eye contact with Guy, which means he notices: recognizes, from a kitchen late at night with a redhead long transferred away, someone putting up a wall and corralling emotions into order. for him, that wasn't worth it, wasn't right - bottle up, and the pressure would grow until you exploded. it was the only possible outcome.]
If they weren't, I wouldn't've said them. [all bravado, not a lick of it false. easy to say when you weren't the one looking strung from a meat hook, when your guts were in the right shape and on the right side of your skin, but he'd started on a roll and he wouldn't end it alone.] What about you?
[The necessity of a mask was all he'd known as a child. There was no second chances if he let slip who he was. He learned to stare into the face of his family's killer and to smile in false respect, waiting for his chance to rip out the man's heart. He couldn't allow himself to feel, so he learned to whittle his anger into something smaller, something sharper he could hide and use when the time was right.
He trusts his gut, but he doesn't trust the heat of his heart. It's why he keeps such a rigid control over himself, why he's careful to deflect and express such restraint.
If he doesn't, he'll break himself.
But Luke hadn't been that way. Luke never could lie or hide how he felt, was brutally, painfully honest with a passion. And maybe that was why Guy admired him so much and became so devoted to his vision of the world. He can see that spark in Hinata, and he doesn't know how to feel about it.
He presses his fingers together.]
... I'm going home. Alive. [No dramatics, no tension. Just a simple statement-- no, a fact. He continues on, remarkably controlled in comparison to Hinata.]
I'm holding you to what you've said. Don't forget.
You aren't safe sitting by and watching, you know.
[low. raw. honest. eyes wide, staring, fire banked for one moment--- or condensed, more accurately. balled, bit, intensity doubled and tripled and kept low only to catch Guy's response.]
[because he couldn't be willing to sit by. he couldn't be. not Guy, kind, compassionate Guy. it didn't make sense. it wouldn't make sense.]
[He feels the sting of that remark and allows himself to break into a small smile. If Hinata wants to test the waters, he'll provide an honest answer.]
I can take care of myself. [He doesn't bother to sugarcoat it. It's blunt, almost scolding with how he says it. Battles aren't won by rushing in. And he knows what he has to focus on, now.]
What do you think we should do, Hinata?
[The CDC could be listening. In the rovers, through their cuffs: nowhere is "safe," if you thought about it that way. But he poses the question anyway, like a teacher presenting a problem to his student.]
No... You can't. Nobody can. [small shake of the head, gaze at last dropping -- it breaks up the aggressiveness in his tension, the confrontational aspect somehow directing inward.] We've got to work together. One person can't take care of themself all alone.
[a quiet breath.]
[nowhere was safe. Guy's tone grated in a small, meaningless, frustrating fashion, taking the inward-facing determination and twisting it into a drill, burrowing right under his ribs and nesting like some diseased animal. Guy wouldn't patronize. Guy woul--]
I think we need to take care of each other. [for missions. for otherwise.] And watch. And...
[plan. be ready at a moment's notice; be of an equal level; go slow (disgustingly so), last as long as possible, and, most of all, organize.]
[What isn't said speaks just as loudly as what Hinata is saying. There's been a thread of tension woven throughout the crew. Sooner or later, something-- someone-- will give. He doesn't know where all this will lead. The road ahead is nothing but dark, but he's determined to fight through it to find a light.
You can't do this alone. Guy shifts his gaze away from Hinata, the look in his eyes becoming pensive. He told that to his friends, hadn't he? This problem was too large for one person to handle. Therefore--]
I can respect that. [His eyes snap back to meet the boy's, calm as a lake's surface. Time will tell if that determination will stay, but he hopes it does.
Hinata'll need that fire to keep him alive.]
Then, I'll trust you not to get in too over your head. [It's not an outright discouragement.] "We need to take care of each other," right? You should spend time checking up on the others too, if that's the case.
[To see what they think of this. To test the waters.]
[--- not something he had any right to dwell on at the present moment. Guy had a look about him for a brief second that fell closer to agreement than a shut down; before that, too, the almost-- nostalgia to pass across his expression. Hinata couldn't tell with any worthy amount of confidence, but as it ended with calm eyes settling on heated ones without rebuff...]
[the ginger kept silent until the end.]
[then, a nod. a pause.]
Would you mind if I came back later?
[are you in? could I trust you?]
[he wasn't good with lying. on the upside, that meant he didn't often take anything less than blunt honesty to heart.]
[He patiently waits for a response. It didn't matter how Hinata responded: whatever he said, Guy would've accepted. But it'd be a lie to say that he hadn't wanted to hear those words. He returns the nod with a smile.]
Drop by whenever you like. I could use the company.
[The deal's been struck.
This could be a big mistake, but Guy's never been the sort to waver when it came to his friends. Hinata was right: sitting and waiting won't bring Luke and the others home safely. Not with the situation they were in. There had to be another way they could weasel out.]
[small smile, quick to rise and quick to drop, but the response eases something tense out of him. caution remained as a formality, but-- really, really, he couldn't have expressed how reassured he was in that moment.]
[so instead, he - pauses - nods - and takes a step away, turning toward other cots. raises one hand before he actually disappears, giving a short wave,]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[a sniff, the back of his hand swiped fast under his nose. he doesn't break eye contact with Guy, which means he notices: recognizes, from a kitchen late at night with a redhead long transferred away, someone putting up a wall and corralling emotions into order. for him, that wasn't worth it, wasn't right - bottle up, and the pressure would grow until you exploded. it was the only possible outcome.]
If they weren't, I wouldn't've said them. [all bravado, not a lick of it false. easy to say when you weren't the one looking strung from a meat hook, when your guts were in the right shape and on the right side of your skin, but he'd started on a roll and he wouldn't end it alone.] What about you?
no subject
He trusts his gut, but he doesn't trust the heat of his heart. It's why he keeps such a rigid control over himself, why he's careful to deflect and express such restraint.
If he doesn't, he'll break himself.
But Luke hadn't been that way. Luke never could lie or hide how he felt, was brutally, painfully honest with a passion. And maybe that was why Guy admired him so much and became so devoted to his vision of the world. He can see that spark in Hinata, and he doesn't know how to feel about it.
He presses his fingers together.]
... I'm going home. Alive. [No dramatics, no tension. Just a simple statement-- no, a fact. He continues on, remarkably controlled in comparison to Hinata.]
I'm holding you to what you've said. Don't forget.
no subject
[controlled. pointedly, intentionally so.]
You aren't safe sitting by and watching, you know.
[low. raw. honest. eyes wide, staring, fire banked for one moment--- or condensed, more accurately. balled, bit, intensity doubled and tripled and kept low only to catch Guy's response.]
[because he couldn't be willing to sit by. he couldn't be. not Guy, kind, compassionate Guy. it didn't make sense. it wouldn't make sense.]
[and he wouldn't let up so easily. he couldn't.]
no subject
I can take care of myself. [He doesn't bother to sugarcoat it. It's blunt, almost scolding with how he says it. Battles aren't won by rushing in. And he knows what he has to focus on, now.]
What do you think we should do, Hinata?
[The CDC could be listening. In the rovers, through their cuffs: nowhere is "safe," if you thought about it that way. But he poses the question anyway, like a teacher presenting a problem to his student.]
no subject
[a quiet breath.]
[nowhere was safe. Guy's tone grated in a small, meaningless, frustrating fashion, taking the inward-facing determination and twisting it into a drill, burrowing right under his ribs and nesting like some diseased animal. Guy wouldn't patronize. Guy woul--]
I think we need to take care of each other. [for missions. for otherwise.] And watch. And...
[plan. be ready at a moment's notice; be of an equal level; go slow (disgustingly so), last as long as possible, and, most of all, organize.]
... Make sure to be ready for what comes.
no subject
You can't do this alone. Guy shifts his gaze away from Hinata, the look in his eyes becoming pensive. He told that to his friends, hadn't he? This problem was too large for one person to handle. Therefore--]
I can respect that. [His eyes snap back to meet the boy's, calm as a lake's surface. Time will tell if that determination will stay, but he hopes it does.
Hinata'll need that fire to keep him alive.]
Then, I'll trust you not to get in too over your head. [It's not an outright discouragement.] "We need to take care of each other," right? You should spend time checking up on the others too, if that's the case.
[To see what they think of this. To test the waters.]
no subject
[--- not something he had any right to dwell on at the present moment. Guy had a look about him for a brief second that fell closer to agreement than a shut down; before that, too, the almost-- nostalgia to pass across his expression. Hinata couldn't tell with any worthy amount of confidence, but as it ended with calm eyes settling on heated ones without rebuff...]
[the ginger kept silent until the end.]
[then, a nod. a pause.]
Would you mind if I came back later?
[are you in? could I trust you?]
[he wasn't good with lying. on the upside, that meant he didn't often take anything less than blunt honesty to heart.]
no subject
Drop by whenever you like. I could use the company.
[The deal's been struck.
This could be a big mistake, but Guy's never been the sort to waver when it came to his friends. Hinata was right: sitting and waiting won't bring Luke and the others home safely. Not with the situation they were in. There had to be another way they could weasel out.]
no subject
[small smile, quick to rise and quick to drop, but the response eases something tense out of him. caution remained as a formality, but-- really, really, he couldn't have expressed how reassured he was in that moment.]
[so instead, he - pauses - nods - and takes a step away, turning toward other cots. raises one hand before he actually disappears, giving a short wave,]
See you. And-- thanks.